Just In: Last thing downtown Chicago needs is NASCAR race.

NOTHING SAYS “FOURTH OF JULY WEEKEND” in downtown Chicago quite like grossly gone-from-Carolina NASCAR races.

In fact, it’s a shame that The City That Quirks can’t send something equally futile back to the American southeast as a sign of acknowledgment.

Then, perhaps, the ’24 White Sox could play a four-game series at Darlington.

That’d be certain to set the General Lees and Bootie Barkers snoozin’.

Or maybe the ship-shelled Bulls could present a Zach LaVine Moto-Clog Weekend at Talladega — ideally presented by Green Roads Gummies or some other wildwood weed.

INSTEAD, FOR A SECOND CONSECUTIVE fume-driven Fourth, the stock-car aces will be taking over Grant Park and environs in disruptive spectacles that Chicago needs like a Chuck E. Cheese Exhibit at The Art Institute.

On Saturday, USA Network will get the bubbas running with the junior-varsity Loop 110 (2:30 p.m.). Sunday, NBC swoops in to present The Grant Park 220 (3:30 p.m.), which is a lower figure than the number of people who rioted when Sly Stone didn’t show for a free concert at the historic green space back in 1970.

Last year’s inaugural main event — the 220 — flirted with disaster. The start was delayed an hour because of weather and then darkness forced it to be shortened from 100 laps to 75.

IN THE END, SHANE VAN GISBERGEN — a New Zealander 10,000 spark plugs from home — won and immediately qualified as a $2,000 response on “Jeopardy Lite!”.

His average speed: A positively pedestrian 60.2 mph. These days, low loud riders make it through drive-up lanes at Raising Cane’s faster.

THE RACES ARE TOUR DE FARCES, residuals from when a concept-challenged mayor — Lori Lightfoot — was swayed with something less appropriate than a miniature golf course on a crosswind runway at O’Hare.

Hopefully, The Chicago Street Race will fizzle and fly out of Our Town forever on the next flatbed south.

In the meantime, pliable citizens, start your wallets.